Me too!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize