no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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