my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
