They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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