ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
