Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize