We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize
