well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
