we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
