Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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