Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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