Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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