It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
