I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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