??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
