I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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