Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
