Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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