If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
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This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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