A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
