So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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