it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
