he puts the penis in happiness.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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