I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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