remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Girls should come with a carfax report
I forgot how hot balto sounded
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
