I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
