You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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