You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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