Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
