Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
