Pants 0. Shit 1.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
