A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
