Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
