Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm like, not good at living.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
