I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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