I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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