Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The air was thick with penises
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
