I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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