we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You pole danced in your parka.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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