she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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