see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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