Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The struggles of a small town man whore
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
