Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
