I want to stick my p in your. b.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
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