I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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