Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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