i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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