Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
