someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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