The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
