I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
