in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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