..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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