wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
