Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
