Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
