her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
