i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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