South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
