my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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