he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
