Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
