i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
