Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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