It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
