that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
