He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
