i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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