it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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