is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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