You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
