Tell her she can't have a vagina
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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