STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
This is the prime rib incident all over again
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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